Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
