Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I am one with the molecules
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
