Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I look better un-naked...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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