Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
