um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
