My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
