ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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