Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
