I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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