um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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