Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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