you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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