You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just had sex on a roof
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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