He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
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