I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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