Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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