her vagine was all disorganized.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize