He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
