I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
