whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Duck Duck Cougar?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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