a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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