we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
