I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
