In America we eat man semen.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
