She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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