Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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