Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
