I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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