but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
