Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
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