those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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