I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
