Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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