He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
