I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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