How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
