Tell her she can't have a vagina
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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