i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
