Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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