We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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