i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
