How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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