If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
