all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Text me some of your sweat
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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