You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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