it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
