Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
