Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
