so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
