Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
