Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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