hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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