PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
