what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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