you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
