rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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