Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
