Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
