You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am naked and annoyed.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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