just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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