just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
