D3 body, D1 cock
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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